Just me my thoughts, my writings, my blog space*

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

So Much to Do, So Little Time...(from a new song)
It's been a while...but I missed you :)
I have not been away, I've just been making music...writing, singing, recording and releasing...but you are always on my mind :)


Thursday, July 27, 2006

As the smoke clears, the picture shines through, still not incredibly clear but at least I’m not stuck with my head in a dark cloud of confusion and bleakness. Tragedies are what great poetry is based on, isn’t it. So much you can learn and grow from an experience. But for some reason I feel it’s useless. I know tragedy and pain without having to go through it. I’ve been careful of my lessons in life and more careful not to repeat the mistakes of my naïve inner child. However, the energy of the world is to continually push me down and hold me back and continue to “teach me lessons” – but I’m beginning to become angry. I’m starting to feel this is nothing more than a sick joke and the world is laughing at me. How many tragedies must I suffer, how many lessons can I learn. And when will you give it up. Stop torturing me, my patience is running thin and I can’t bare another set back, let down, hurtful time, or feelings of somber. I’m not strong anymore. I pray and I pray and believe in my deepest self that I’m a decent person and I’ve paid my dues, now can you admit that enough is enough. Let me go, set me free, let me be, at peace and at ease and not just counting the crucibles that another suffering moment awaits me.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

I opened the door to the world today
I rose from my bed with only happiness at bay
Ready to put on my best foot forward
I walk thru the door
I am about to take this world by storm
Light and free I inhale the air
I open my eyes to the sunshine glare
This morning seems modest
Perhaps it’s prepared
I am living have no fear

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

You are a thief you stole my soul
I am a giver of life and you took my spirit from me
You neglected to see that I thrived on passion
Instead you drained me through your own sick obsession
You could have taken all the physical things but instead you took the deepest part of me
I was whole and now I’m empty without a bottom
Don't feel bad for me, feel bad only for the one who follows
Because I will be lacking a fullness that I embodied the day you met me
The day you fell and the day your scheme began
I will have nothing to give and they will miss what was the essence of me
You have stolen my freedom to choose as I built my solid ground
You’ve left me broken and homeless and desperate and thirsty
You’ve converted me into the blood sucking leach that I am now
The same as you, and so the cycle begins
All the best have traveled in packs, but you have left me to travel alone
So now I will become the most dangerous of all
Stronger more powerful beware
Don’t let my smile make you the fool, like you I laugh in the face of fear
Thank you for teaching me the tricks of the trade
The tricks you gave the day you came
For I shall improve on them as each moon passes
I now thrive in the darkness as most live in the light
A life in the dark that most will not dream and now it is my reality
I am a product of your elimination and you are the factor for my destination

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Elevate, elevation still exists, in your arms, where I’ll die
My house is not home with out you there
And in my heart is where you’ll stay
Let’s fly, fly fly away
Elevate to the stars

Holding you, holding me
We are one and we will be
Together for all times
So much passion
We rise to the occasion
Never letting you go

Not scared of the future
Only treasure at the end of the rainbow
Together forever
Nothing stands in our way
For a righteous path
To ecstasy

What do you want to tell them
When they see us in bliss
Happiness surrounds us
There’s No questioning this
Magical attraction
Follow me to heaven

Where ever you go, I will follow
Whatever you want, I will give
Whenever you call, I’ll come running

Friday, December 02, 2005

Me vs. Circumstance

Do you miss me? Or is it circumstance?
Do you love me? Or is it circumstance?
Do you desire me? Or is it circumstance?
Do you think of me? Or is it circumstance?
Do you call me to hear my voice? Or is it circumstance?
Do you talk about our future, because you want a future with me?
Or is it circumstance?
Do you want to marry me? Or is it circumstance?
Do you want me to bare your children? Or is it circumstance?
Do you want me to care for you when you are ill? Or is it circumstance?
Do you want to tell me your fears? Or is it circumstance?
Do you want to share your dreams with me? Or is it circumstance?
Do you want me to base my life around, or do you base me around the circumstance?
Do you want me because it’s convenient? Or are we together because of the circumstance?
Sweet, sweet, circumstance. I wish I knew you better. I wish I were more like you, whatever the circumstance. Why must I compete with you over what is supposed to be my circumstance. I’m not willing to walk along the curb of your world when in fact I have road in mine. A well paved road where I am strong and tall and I belong. In your world I am a stranger, small and weak. I will not compete. I want my dream to be my reality. You are a ghost haunting my broken heart. Haven’t I endured enough. Why can’t you leave this circumstance alone. You have something that I want, but I cannot thrive walking in your shoes. They do not fit. My feet are swolen.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Being creative seems to always happen, either first thing in the morning, when my spirit has yet to put its earth shoes on, or as I am taking them off at night. The best creativity is when I am basking in my unearthly glory, but the moment I have the thought that I should be grabbing my piece of paper or recorder, reality sneaks in to whisk me into consciousness and I lose my most creative thoughts.

I will do my best however, to be detached from my earthly being and wander into my creative self and try to bring back as much as I can carry and share it with you.

Forgive me, but I merely a protégé to my creative spirit and I am learning as each day passes to communicate the ideas and find not only mere thoughts and ideas of my own but also what my spirit tells me is important to express and share and explore.

I hope you enjoy reading about my journeys as much as I love traveling.

I crave creative people, I also applied there for a job and haven’t rec’d a response.
I want so much to feed off of positive energy, sometimes I drown in my negative sorrows.
I want a sense a self and grasp on reality, my mind continues to float away.
I don’t know whether it’s the time or the place, perhaps it’s me pushing everyone away.
But the more I need positivity, the more distant it feels.
Is it my own lack of positivity, that draws in the opposite?
I think it’s this place, because it certainly can’t be me.
I was content at one place and time, that’s the place I want to return to.
Even if physically I can’t, I would love to find a way to dream.
If I close my eyes long enough, I could picture the place and remember the feeling.
But I’ll play a trick, I will grab it, before I open my eyes and bring it to the surface this time.
I will drink it, sleep it, eat it, so it will never leave me.
I will paint pictures, listen to the music and surround myself with all of the same things.
I will bring that place to me, then I will be content no matter where I am.
It’s not that far, so it should be too hard.
I don’t even have to think really hard, I think about it so much that it’s really the only thing on mind.
I believe it so I can live it. I remember the smell of this cup of coffee, the same cup that I drank on a similar morning there in that place. I smile, even as I open my eyes. I don’t see this place, I am so deep in thought that it’s as if I am only here in a dream. I am really there, sitting at my table drifting in thought, having a daydream about this place. My eyes are open but no one can see me, cuz I am not really here, I am there and they are here, they don’t know I am just a facade. I will visit again I promise but for now the reality of my secret place is calling, I will close my eyes once more and drift away. I need another sip.